It is important to put shyness in perspective. Many people think of shyness and fearfulness as a negative trait for all dogs. It is natural for dogs to be wary of things that are novel and unfamiliar. Normally, during development, the dog becomes socialized with familiar people, animals, objects and situations. Nonetheless, they will still tend to shy away from people, animals, objects and situations with which they are not familiar. For example, if a dog has grown up with a single, sedentary person in a quiet apartment it may need some reassurance to adapt to a new life with a large, active family that lives on a noisy street corner.

Shyness in itself is not a problem. It is only a problem if the dog’s shyness inhibits your lifestyle, or if the dog develops other behavior problems that are often related to shyness, for example fear-biting or submissive urination. The fact that a shy or fearful animal may resort to growling, snapping or biting to defend itself makes fearfulness an extremely important concern.

In a well-meaning attempt to calm the dog’s fears, many people end up actually reinforcing the dog’s shy and fearful behaviors. In effect, the owner inadvertently trains the dog to be more shy and fearful. The first principle of treatment is not to make matters worse. Be careful not to reinforce the dog’s shyness and fearfulness. By offering reassurance to help the dog build its confidence, you may actually end up doing the opposite and unintentionally encourage the dog to be more shy. When the timid dog hides, barks defensively, whines, screams or snaps, our response is invariably the same. It is only human nature for us to feel protective and try to reassure the dog by talking soothingly, or petting the dog and perhaps even picking it up for a big hug. These actions flagrantly reward the dog for fearful behavior.

By all means, you should have the sensitivity to realize that the dog is frightened, but you should try to ignore the shy and fearful behavior. Save your praise and reassurance for times when the dog acts with confidence. Within time, the dog learns that hiding from visitors and barking at strangers does not make them go away and that for the most part, they are harmless anyway.

Many people try to rehabilitate the dog too quickly, forcing it to socialize with other dogs and/or people. This usually only reinforces the dog’s view that other dogs and people are frightening.

On one hand, the dog needs to be socialized as quickly as possible, but on the other hand, it should not be forced to socialize with other dogs and people. If you push the dog to do too much too quickly, the dog will only become more fearful and may be forced into a situation where it feels it must defend itself. Socializing a dog and helping it build its confidence is a time-consuming task. Thrusting the poor dog into the arms of every visitor and dragging the dog outside to socialize with many other dogs can be counterproductive. Strangers should never be allowed to approach the dog and pet it. It should always be left to the dog to make the first contact. If the dog is not keen on approaching, that is OK. Just give it plenty of time to “hide and peek” and eventually it will come out of hiding. Forcing the dog to interact invariably makes matters worse. Let the dog proceed at its own speed.

Shy and/or fearful dogs often react defensively when approached by unfamiliar people or dogs. They may try to keep strangers away by growling, snarling, snapping or biting. These behaviors must not be ignored. No dog should be allowed to get away with acting aggressively towards humans, no matter what the reason. The fact that the animal is shy is no excuse to condone growling, snapping or biting. The dog must be instantly and effectively reprimanded for such behavior. Otherwise, sooner or later, growling develops into snarling and snapping and eventually into biting. Dogs that bite people seldom live for very long. However, since you (as the owner) are the only person the dog trusts, you are the only person who can reprimand such obnoxious behavior without destroying the dog’s confidence. If it is left for strangers to reprimand the dog, it only reinforces the dog’s thought that it was right to try to avoid them in the first place. Of course, if it is ever necessary for you to reprimand aggressive tendencies in a shy animal, you should also realize that you have probably been trying to push the dog along too quickly. Avoid similar threatening situations until the dog has developed sufficient confidence to deal with them without resorting to biting.

Training can be a great help when socializing a shy dog. Simply instructing the dog to heel, sit and lie down each time it encounters a person or another dog, helps take its mind off the stress of the meeting. The dog feels more secure since it does not have to worry about how to act. It only has to follow your instructions. In addition, instructing the dog to sit or lie down eases the tension during an encounter. A dog that is sitting or lying down is perceived as a relaxed, calm and cool dog. Consequently, another dog will be less likely to threaten. In turn, the shy dog will feel less threatened, so the meeting is more likely to go well. This simple procedure helps to diffuse potentially stressful situations.

by Gwen Bohnenkamp, 1986